TW: EXISTENTIAL DREAD

Disclaime: This is like, the first serious (non-business related) thing I've written in years

I'm a materialist, I believe that consciousness is a purely physical process that takes place within the brain, and that when I die there will be nothing but oblivion. I believe that there is no inherent meaning or value to life, that we're just an incidental arrangement of electrons, neutrons, and protons that was brought about by the physical laws of the Universe. It would be naive for me to think that in the grand scheme of things, my life is any more significant than a speck of dust.

I really do not want to die at all.

I just can't stand dieing knowing I'll never know how the future turns out.

Will we ever make contact with (sentient) alien life? Will it turn out like Greg Egan's novels where 99% of humanity exists as software? Or do we just go extinct from war/disasters.

Look at any collection of astronomical images, and you will see many fantastic sights that you will never see in person. Countless stars, planets, galaxies, and who knows what else.

Terry Pratchett summed it up nicely: "So many worlds, too little time. One lifetime is not enough"

This is also why I live my life completely and solely for my own sake, I want to live as pleasurable a life as I can (I won't go out of my way to cause harm to others, but if it comes down to a choice between me and someone/anyone else, it's going to be me every time). My business is rather successful and 95% of all my time goes into it, my long-term goal is just to save and sit ontop of ALOT OF MONEY so I can afford future technologies. I can easily afford to donate to those who really need it, but I would rather augment myself with future technologies (cybernetics and other life extension procedures).

This is why I'm putting all my eggs into the Transhumanist basket. Without going into detail, Transhumanism is the general idea/movement that technology can and should be used to improve humans (IE: Life extension, genetic modification, mind uploading, cybernetics, etc).

I would do whatever it takes to prolong my life, and I am most definitely signing up for cryonic preservation. I have no doubts that preservation and resuscitation is technically feasible, but the issues are social rather than technical. There could be a war or some other conflict or disaster that disrupts the facility's operations, or radicals who decide it's unnatural and has to go. Or my body is preserved for a thousand years, and it's possible to revive me, but culture has changed enough that maybe they don't want to revive frozen people, or do so for nefarious reasons.

I also believe that it's possible to transfer my consciousness to a different physical substrate, but this has a number of philosophical issues that will probably never be resolved (IE: If I upload my consciousness as software, does it have an internal life like I do, or is it a philosophical zombie that's simply a simulation that's indistinguishable to an outside observer)

Still a better option than just consigning myself to oblivion though.

Does anybody else share these thoughts? Though, I'm 100% certain that of the 7 some billions of people on the Earth, there is atleast one person who has had these *exact same* thoughts.

This... was way more coherent when I was writing it out in my head, but there's a reason I failed all my writing courses.

Edit: thanks for the well-thought out responses everyone! I havent replied to many of them, but I've read them all (and most responses would be some variation of "I just dont see things that way")